The art of going out alone

After nearly two years of limiting nightlife, FOMO is officially back and there is a sweaty hedonism in the air that was not there in 2019 when it was common to go out. But what if your friends are not eager to dance to every beat within a 30km radius? Before you get the idea of ​​going to go to a club falls, think of the benefits of a night on the town alone: ​​you will not be drawn into the endless smoking breaks† You do not want to lose your friends in line. You do not have to buy drinks that make an evening in the city unaffordable. And most importantly, the night ends when you want it to – not because your friend gets kicked out of the club for having a sniffs a line on the toilet.

Believe me, I’m a tanned solo party animal. My first night alone took place in Montpellier, France when I was on vacation with my dad. (He’s the craziest dancer I know, but our taste in music is too different to agree on a playlist for the car, let alone French electro music.

Aside from the questionable transitions between songs, dancing in the company of strangers was accompanied by a freedom I had never felt before partying with friends. I would never sacrifice the euphoria it gives me to share a dance floor with my best friends, but without friends I could enjoy the night on my own terms. Is all this starting to sound comfortable to you? I asked other experienced veterans for tips on how to go crazy on your own.

Get new friends and dump them whenever you want

The beauty of a solo night is that you have no idea who to meet. I probably talked to over twenty people in the few hours I was in Montpellier, but the most enjoyable part was the freedom to jump from group to group. Enjoy the company of your new friends, but remember that you can be very flexible as a solo party animal. If you feel like changing dance floor or get bored during a conversation, you hardly need to explain your sudden absence.

Event manager Sean O’Connor (29 years old) has been partying alone since 2011. He found that the experience of going to a club alone made him connect with others. “I am very inward-facing“, He explains,” and these experiences have helped me cope with social situations better and overcome the fear of meeting new people. “

Dan Funke (20 years old) has already been to a club alone about four times, but for him “partying solo does not just mean partying”. You get the chance to meet new people and it’s easier to make friends than you might think: “Everyone is usually sweet and communicative, and eventually a group will take you in or you will meet someone to spend the evening with. “

‘Fake it till you make it’, while you go crazy alone

A few hours before my night out I was on the tram when I saw three people with glittering heels and beards. I told them about my solo plans, asked them if they could recommend a dance venue, and they immediately invited me to a transvestite performance. Place of imbibing: arranged.

It’s about faking your confidence. It can feel scary to address a group of strangers† As long as you do not behave intrusively or sexually aggressively, most people will be flattered when asked a question or told that their outfit looks good on them.

If you need an extra boost of confidence, listen to your favorite playlist to get energy on the way to the dance floor. This way you enter as if you own the tent even though you are nervous.

Be self-sufficient when you go out alone

My handbag for the solo evening contains the usual necessities: chewing gum, telephone, bank card, labello – and cash. Squeezing a cigarette from a stranger may just be enough, but finding someone who is willing to lend you thirty euros for a taxi ride home because your phone’s battery is dead is getting harder. Be on your own and take everything you need with you, including a fully charged phone. And when you’re on vacation, write down your hotel’s address on paper, just in case your phone runs out.

Do your research and open yourself to a new experience

Yazan Saleh is a 22-year-old DJ who has gone out on his own more than fifty times. “You are the pilot of your night and experience,” he says enthusiastically about the experience. Yazan strongly recommends planning your evening well in advance before venturing into the big unknown: “Do a little research on the artist, lineup, and venue so you can get into the atmosphere before you get there.”

Walking is so often seen as a shared experience that we forget what it feels like to have the freedom to follow your own instincts. Yazan compares solo parties to visiting a city on your own – for me the experience is comparable to visiting a gallery, a restaurant or a gym on your own. In other words, going out is a hobby that you can enjoy in your own way and you can be inspired to give it a try.

Beware of intrusive types on your solo night

For the first few hours of my solo night, I struggled to find my feet. Every place I chose was very quickly taken by a man who came way too close. Later, I danced with a few people I had chatted with and felt less like a natural “target” for intrusive men because of this. It reminded me of how important it is to put my safety first.

Every person I interviewed emphasized this advice. “Especially if you’m femme or transgender – I’m both – prioritize your safety,” says Dan. “Let your friends know where you are. Send them your live location. Take care of your drinking and do not take drugs from people you do not know.”

Sean also gives good advice in this regard: “If you can not leave someone who gives you bad vibes or makes you feel uncomfortable, you can always report this at the bar or the locker room.” The staff will take this as a signal that you need help.

Unfortunately the dance floor not so safe as he should be, especially not for people of marginalized gender or marginalized identity. Going out without the support of friends can feel unnatural even at the best of times. But if you feel safe enough to party solo, the possibilities of the night are endless – so prepare as best you can and take the leap into the unknown. It may just be the best night of your life.

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