How a family lives together varies by country and culture, but the standard family with husband, wife and children is no longer the norm. Living with several partners, adult children, grandchildren, eight cats or three dogs: in this series, people talk about their families. This week: Sabriyé Ayana (51) has a multigenerational family and lives in Ibiza with her mother (82) and son (18).By Hannah Koenig
Ayana grew up with her parents in Amsterdam, and after her parents’ divorce, she traveled to America with her mother at a young age. When she is an adult, she settles in the Netherlands and has four children. As a single mother with her own business, her mother is very helpful to her, who is often there to provide for the family.
Still, she is also worried about her mother Hendrina: “Although she is young at heart, she left the gas more and more often. It didn’t feel nice to live alone, I always wanted her near us and thought of thinking in a way of being together.”
Anna Lyn gaat graag met haar ouders op vakantie, vertelt ze aan Ouders van Nu. ‘Zo kunnen we ook eens lekker met z’n tweeën uit eten.’
Four years ago, Ayana decided to go on a world trip with her mother and her son: “Only my youngest son Omar still lived at home. I enrolled him in the world school so that I could teach him myself, and we left. We traveled through, among other things India. , Italy and Ibiza.”
“My mother really blossomed; she danced in the streets of Dubai, played in the sea and stood with her feet in the Nile. She enjoyed every day to the fullest. It was great to see her so happy; she is not someone you can put in a nursing home .”
My mother really flourished: she danced in the streets of Dubai, played in the sea and stood with her feet in the Nile.
Settle in Ibiza
Her son Omar is less happy after two years of traveling: “He missed friends and school. It was time we gave him firm ground under his feet so he could build his own life.” Everywhere they went during their travels, the generational family felt as if it was a place where they could settle: “We felt very much at home in Dubai, but chose Ibiza. We found a house in the north of the island ; where there was enough room for all of us. The place where we live is magical; the beach is our backyard.”
In the Netherlands, Ayana lived in a single-family house in Amsterdam-Noord, her mother in De Pijp. Life in Ibiza is good because of the nature and the tranquility. Life on the Spanish island is less hectic and they do more as they please.
“We recently took my son to a party and decided at ten in the evening to lie down on the beach to look at the stars. In Holland you don’t do it quickly, but we live outside here and are one with nature.”
Friends with mother
Ayana has her own business; she is a spiritual teacher and healer. Her spiritual outlook makes her aware of unprocessed trauma between parents and children: “My mother and I are friends now, but it hasn’t always been like that. We have had conflicts, but by understanding unconscious patterns and traumas from the past, we have now a nice warm bond that I wish everyone.”
For her 82nd birthday, we invited her friends and held a cocoa ceremony at our home.
Son Omar has also become happy in Ibiza. After the trip around the world, he went to school for another two years and currently has a job at the beach. He speaks good Spanish and has good friends. Ayana didn’t want to return to Holland, and her mother thinks the same: “She shouldn’t think about living in Amsterdam again. She lives the good life here, and I think it’s valuable that I can give her this.”
Also room for a man
Because she lives with her mother, Ayana does more with her mother than the occasional cup of coffee: “When I was a teenager I rebelled against her spiritual spirit, but now I am grateful to her. For her 82nd birthday, we invited her friends and we held a cacao ceremony in our home.”
“I am happy to have her around me every day and would do nothing but live with my mother and son. This does not mean that there is no place in my life for a man, but my mother is an important part of us beautiful family.”
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